Product Of My Environment

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This is the final chapter of Product Of My Environment.  Spiralling down...disaster...A time for the author to face reality and to make a decision, she's at a crossroad, which way to go...which road to take...what road would you take...
 

 

Everyday after that it was wild, wild west, there were shootings on the block and when the King came out of the hospital he was on crutches.

Then one night the cops came and arrested him. That same night D. was walking down the street and they arrested him too.

They said, my brother and D. shot a cop. I knew they didn’t the whole neighborhood knew they didn’t but both got a lot of time for it anyway.

Then my brother Supreme heard about it and came up with the idea if he committed a crime that he would get arrested and go to jail with his little brother. But it didn’t work out. I really didn’t know how close Supreme & the King were. I guess I really didn’t know anything at all about them. Now I had two brothers in jail.

I got real drunk and by this time I was putting acid in the beer. I was using so much acid that I didn’t even know what was real and what was not. I enjoyed living in this state. I didn’t have to know anything because nothing made since.

One day we moved on a quiet block in a big house. The next minute you have two brothers in jail. I really couldn’t deal with it. It was just too much to handle. But what could I do. So I continued to go to work and get high. And come back to D. house and on the weekends go visit either him or my brothers. My whole world was visiting someone in jail. Or going to an old friend’s grave site. It was something about visiting someone in jail.
 
Everyone you know was there. It looks like my whole Queens was there. At least my brothers and D. were not alone. Did that make any sense? Not Alone.
 

Sly didn’t understand my need for acid. But truly I didn’t

care, he had a need for weed, I guess we were even. At the time

I only did weed once in a while. We were good together. Sli was

cool and six feet tall he stood really high. When we came out the

movies we’d do the new karate moves we learned while watching

the movie. We got back on the on the train. Sli would get off

at 150

th and I got off at 130th. So I got off first. But I notice some

guys on the train, I had a bad feeling about that. But Sli said they

ain’t gonna do shit. But it stuck in me. I really wanted to move off

the train. So to make me feel better Sli and I moved to the last

car. We were doing our karate moves and it was so cool. By time

I got off the train I knew how to do the drunken monkey. And Sli

knew how to do the five fingers of death. Yeah we were karate

bad asses. As I got off the train I notice those same guys coming

closer to us. I looked at Sli I mean it was like it was slow motion.

And when the door closed they ran over and stabbed him over

and over and over again. I screamed “stop the train!” I grabbed

the door to try to open it but, it wouldn’t. I looked in Sli’s eyes as

the life ran out of him. But there was nothing I could do. I ran to

the next stop I was out of breath by time I got there. I couldn’t get

there fast enough. I just knew if I got there I could help. Oh god

why did I get off the train. I told him that they were up to no good

I just knew it. I got to the next stop there were people all around

and cops where all over the place. I pushed through the crowd

and with acid everything seemed to be in slow motion. It was like

there where hundreds of people all over the place. I finally made

it and there he was dead, the smell of his blood was strong. It was

all up my noise. I cried and cried a cop grabbed me and said get

the fuck out of here.
 


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